January brings the snow ...

As I was rugged up like an Eskimo whilst defrosting the car this morning, it struck me just how freezing cold it is at the moment - and I thought blimey it's like November ... then I thought again (yes head was hurting at this point far too much thinking before 7AM) hang on 'January brings the snow ..' and so I looked up the old English weather rhyme repeated here for your delectation

January brings the snow

Makes our feet and fingers glow.

February brings the rain,
Thaws the frozen lake again.

March brings breezes sharp and shrill
Shakes the dancing daffodil.

April brings the primrose sweet
Scatters daisies at our feet.

May brings flocks of pretty lambs,

Skipping by their fleecy dams.

June brings tulips, lilies, and roses
Fills the children's hands with posies

Hot July brings cooling showers,

Apricots and gillyflowers.

August brings the sheaves of corn
Then the harvest home is borne.

Warm September brings the fruit 

Sportsmen then begin to shoot

Brown October brings the pheasant;

Then to gather nuts is pleasant.

Dull November brings the blast

Then the leaves go whirling past.

Chill December brings the sleet

Blazing fire and Christmas treat.

 

 

Oh how far away Hot July feels right now ... but it will be with us before we know it and so I will enjoy todays weather as much as I can; the pale golden sunshine on the patio, the sharp bluey green of the frosted tips of the blades of grass, the perfect silence of the bitter cold, the thin layer of mist that wraps the world when it's -2 on the thermometer, and the joy of wrapping soft warm cashmere around my neck when I venture outside!

Gong Hey Fat Choy!

or if you are on the mainland Gong Xi Fa Cai! However you say it, happy new year of the Yang water Dragon. Here's to a good year for dragons apparently according to the feng shui website (http://fengshuiweb.co.uk/) and this matters as I am a wood dragon! Check out the website to find your very own animal sign & your annual prediction

I quote for Dragons - "The Dragon will have a great start to 2012 with an extremely positive attitude and this will work very much so towards their favour. If you are keen to do well this year and set plans to stone fairly early in the year, then you can get a great deal accomplished in 2012."

And I can say that work has started with a real bang this year - I have never been so busy! All good I guess, especially as we still need carpets & windows in the Wreck!!

Here Come the Hotstepper!

OK enough already. We hit an impasse and could make excuses no more. FauxSurrey hubby couldn't do up his favourite pants & I had to buy a size 18 top. The fat stops here. And we are both rubbish with the eat less so we thought OK move more. So I went online & I typed in my credit card details and 2 days later, thanks to the  miracle of the utility, we installed the pictured - very good I must say - cross trainer in the empty garage at the weekend.

Having been a full on gym bunny in the past (3 x a week, for 2 hours at a time at a fab gym off Westbourne Grove, including 30 mins of a personal trainer - oh I used to be annoyingly fit!!) I squeezed myself into my old kit (really squeezed but hey ..) did my stretches and started slowly but surely - today I did 15 mins & burned 150 calories. Am happy! Will build my stamina sensibly and aim for another 2 x 15 min sessions this week, then go up to 20 min sessions then 30 mins then who knows?

Hubby however is going at it like only a bloke would. He came home from work, changed into shorts & casual shoes (argghh wear trainers man!!) but left his tailored french cuff shirt on and went hell for leather for about 15 minutes till he was puce & sweating & guess what? Yup today he's seized up...! But 10/10 for efffort, he is committed and will get into the groove I am sure - and we are both determined to do this not simply to lose weight but to get fit - and be here for each other a little bit longer!!

Plastic Fantastic?

Arrrgghhh! If you thought the riots of 2011 made me mad you wiill need to duck for this rant. Vain, stupid & frankly self obsessed women it would appear are clamouring for ME as a UK taxpayer to pay for them to have their utterly unecssary & pathetic & stupid pneumatic breast implants removed on the NHS as it has transpired many are full of silicone that isn't medical grade but that is the stuff you put 'round the bath to stop it leaking (well almost). Well boo hoo - your freakishly large boobs aren't quite what you thought they were? Caveat Emptor. If the NHS remove just one faulty implant, I am witholding tax. Seriously. I'm not talking about women who have had breast cancer & necessary reconstructive surgery, I am talking about young, impressionable idiots who watch TOWIE and who think that having 2 footballs glued to your chest is attractive. Well newsflash - it isn't! Yes plenty of people would stop & gawk at a pair of 42FFF's but only in the way that you'd stop & look at a freakishly big dog - with astonishment. And you know what, if that kind of self abusive & frankly unecessary surgery goes wrong well tough whatsit you paid for it to be done (idiot) you pay for it to be undone. There are children in hospital with life threatening diseases & vulnerable old people with Alzheimers who I elect my NHS tax to be spent on not vacuous looks obsessed ingrates. 

And it gets worse (if it can) apparently many cosmetic fillers - stuff you inject under your skin - seriously UGGHHH - are also made of polyfiller or cement or builders caulk and are starting to harden & make vain stupid people's lips & cheeks go weird & have to be (I quote) "dug out". If you thought injecting a strain of the Black Death - yes Botulism AKA Botox - into your forehead was gross how good is this? Hmm surely this is now one for a greater collective Darwin award? HOW stupid do you have to be to inject / add anything into you that isn't necessary & think "oh that'll be fine" fduhhhh

Surely you only have to look at the  images I found to accompany this. One is of some reality show "woman" (I use the term loosely as I really am not sure what it is) who clearly keeps footballs up her top & the other is the once lovely Lesley Ash, one shot before she started messing unnecessarily with her face, the other obviously afterwards. One question - Look how goregous she was. Why?

You're (a) Wizard Harry!

I feel I should be able to flick my wand and  everything including the ironing will be miraculously done today. I am all aglow with the possibility of magic & the fight of good over evil and despite some very serious setbacks (and a bit of death & resurrection … am sure I’ve seen that somewhere before…?!) good wins out for ever & ever! Let me explain - FauxSurreyHubby and I were ‘a deux’ this new year – from NYE to the last day of the festive bank hols it was just the 2 of us (yup, bliss) and we decided to lock the doors, hunker down, light roaring fires & do a Potter-thon. Having recently taken delivery of the final part of the Deathly Hallows & watched parts 1 & 2 together we thought hang on - let’s watch every single Harry Potter film in order, back to back! And it was BRILLIANT!!

On NYE itself the Krug went on ice & we ordered a Chinese and  managed to watch both The Philosopher’s Stone (blimey Oliver Wood, team Quiddich captain was a bit gorgeous!) & The Chamber of Secrets before I was snoozing on the couch. FauxSurreyHubby had to wake me for the countdown to 2012 & then I went to bed!! Sad but true. New Year’s Day dawned & was a shocker weather wise, so we went to B&Q (I know rock & roll – but we needed logs for the necessary roaring fire & light bulbs) and got through The Prisoner of Azkaban & The Goblet of Fire along with platefuls of homemade Mac & Cheese.

Bank Holiday Monday was GLORIOUS! So we pulled on our wellies & walked 2 ½ miles ankle deep in mud & puddles through our local woods which was fab & fully earned our fish pie for tea which was

accompanied by The Order of The Phoenix & The Half Blood Prince. Last night we had the Deathly Hallows – with 4 cheese Ravioli & pesto (yum) – and it was so compelling & such a late night as it takes a very long time to defeat evil that FauxSurreyHubby has taken a day’s leave today to catch up on sleep! Our Potter-thon is now complete!!

And I must confess the whole experience was an utter joy. For what is essentially a childrens tale, the story is compelling, the acting improves enormously as the films progress (although lucky that Hermione has a modelling contract … hmmm ) and it’s a chance to lose yourself completely in utter fantasy & nonsense. If you haven’t seen it all I won’t spoil it but I am in awe of JK’s ability to write a certain brilliant character with such duplicitous (tri-plicitous??) intent! What an imagination.