House of Horrors part - ooh is it 200?

Why oh why oh why ... yes yes I know why. We still have the last push to get the house of horrors looking like it belongs in the 21st century and so the decision to completely gut & refit both bathrooms was taken.

Seemed like a good idea - shiny new bathrooms all round, smart walk in showers & heaps of storage - yes all good, what could go wrong? Oh the sound of hollow laughter should be ringing in everyone's ears now. Everything that could go wrong pretty much has gone wrong.

First mistake - new catsitter for the KC  was concerned about Madams delicate state & lots of workies running about - fair enough we thought, we will get the en-suite done before we go away. Spoke to plumber - yes simple room, we are not moving pipes around just replacing so no problem to do in a week. Great! Everything ordered & plumber booked. Big palette delivered 3 weeks before plumber got here from Splash Direct. Hmm says I to FauxSurreyHubby should we check it? No No was the reply leave it all safely packed, am sure all will be fine!! (yeah; right)

Plumber and his mate finally arrive. We have a schedule and all is good. Then plumber informs me - AFTER he has ripped out the existing en-suite - that his mate is off to a festival so he will be on his own for 3 days and "there's no way I will be able to do more than tiling". Oh. Really? So we have to leave a half done room & toddle off leaving new catsitter in peace & quiet BUT with one really rubbish bathroom.

We return from fabulous holiday. And FauxSurreyTeens immediately move in with us for 4 days as marital drama unfolding with their mother & her (pretty new) hubby. Ah. 4 adults - 2 of whom are teens - trying to share one rubbish bathroom & all trying to get out by 8AM. You can just picture the scene!

En-suite should be finished in 24 hours say plumbers, don't worry. Then the catalogue of disasters is opened.... first one of the toilets that was delivered months ago is unpacked to reveal hairline crack in the cistern. Splash Direct to their huge credit VERY kindly offer me a replacement even though I am now way outside their 60 day returns window; phew. Then it transpires that the wrong colour floor grout has been brought so the en-suite will NOT be ready for another day & we can only use it if we are super careful ... but we are told this AFTER the other useable bathroom is rendered un-useable!

Then the plumbers realise the towel rail is the wrong size; then they realise that the shower enclosure is missing; then they realise the lights are missing from the vanity unit packs & so we get on the phone to try & rectify. Then it gets super bad, as they start to work out what new things will go where in the kids bathroom. Lots of head scratching & peering starts - always a worry. They then both come downstairs & stand in the conservatory & stare at the wall.


VERY long story (and tears from yours truly) short - idiots who used to own this house had utterly botched plumbing meaning to get a shower waste in where the water would not have to go UP (yes UP) would mean ~£2,000 worth of building work including knocking through walls in my recently decorated conservatory. NO!! I then walk into en-suite to calm down / ponder and as I step through the door there is an almighty crack. One of the newly laid v expensive Laura Ashley tiles has cracked in 2 under my (clearly elephantine) weight. For Gods Sake!


Hasty call to FSHubby - and we make a lightening exec decision - return all now useless / unwanted stuff. Start again. Order larger bath & smart frameless sliding bath screen; keep flash shower fitting and have that PLUS bath filler on bath so a decent shower can be taken; order super big chrome towel rail & add in a lovely tall storage unit for teens gubbins and order extra pack of floor tiles. And hopefully all will beautiful; SOON.