Happy Days!

Happy Days are here in the FauxSurreyHousehold. And a bit of over achieving thrown in for good measure!

FSHubby was promoted to a big job at his big company recently & is very happy indeed about it and an FSTeen has just aced her A Levels (she got an A star don't you know! That IS impressive!) meaning she is heading off to Uni as planned in September - will be hard to say goodbye I know & so odd not having her here but absolutely brilliant for her to go & get on with the next chapter in her life.

I vividly remember - 32 years ago (yikes) packing up my stuff & the mix of fear & excitement & wondering what life at uni would be like. To be fair I had older boyfriend chaperoning me so I wasn't really alone but it was still an adventure. And one I am so grateful & happy I had!


 
Back in the real world, FSHubby & I have 10 days till we go off on our annual jaunt - think I have sorted all necessities but this time we are starting out with a week in a spa hotel (hurrah) so I will no doubt feedback spa fiascos later in September!

Here comes the summer

Midsummers day has passed (as has the longest day) and the sun is shining on FauxSurreyLand. The KC is spending her days intermittently sunbathing, staring at birds & snoozing, the  FauxSurreyTeens exams have gone (hopefully with a bang not a whimper), and we have had the first pool party rip through the fabric of our FauxSurreySilence (although it is only one & this time last year were almost into double figures by end June and an apology for the din was offered up without any prompting so things could be looking up!). So as I settle down to a corker of a Wimbledon, watch the heat increase & the nights slowly darken (oooh I am already excited about autumn!) there is no doubt that after the soggy winter & iffy spring, summer is here.

I made a promise to myself to get the garden sorted this year and I have been true to my promise. Work has thinned out slightly -  but will hopefully bulk up again in the not too distant future - so I have spent my "resting" days pruning & weeding & planting; and the garden is rewarding me beautifully. The front garden is a mess of white & pink roses & fragrant lavender all topped off with a ridiculously blousy & colourful hanging basket.


The land out back (AKA our lovely huge back garden) is playing host to a riot of colourful bedding plants  - bright red, white & pink geraniums, all colours of pansies, striped dianthus & lobelia are fighting for attention with a huge lavender - alongside magnificent rose bushes (orange & white) and very very happy chocolate vines, honeysuckle & an exquisitely fragranced jasmine.

You see whilst I was cursing as I slopped out the utility on Christmas eve, the rainwater was permeating the depths of our soil and giving clearly very thirsty plants a very long cool drink. Add to that a mild & gentle spring plus the last few weeks of lovely warm sunshine & a few bits of thunder to top up the wetness, and all the plants are all behaving as if they've taken multi-vitamins!

The only "no shows" this year have been my poppies (think a sleeping fox simply squished them by using them as his bed) and the (un)"Miracle Gro" 'flower magic' which promised a carpet of flowers in just 6 weeks. I have just checked the patch where it was sown - 5 weeks on & still bare soil (apart from weeds). Hey Ho.

Life in the Slow Lane ...

Goodness me it's been weeks since I last blogged. Maybe because I am now 50 I have run out of time / energy to share my random thoughts with all. Well that's just not good enough!

So have made some time. What have I been up to? Had an amazing 50th birthday dinner en famille at the lovely hotel FSHubby & I held our wedding reception at. We ordered the 7 course tasting menu for 10 and it was spectacular. Thanks to Stephen & the team at The Chalk Lane Hotel.

Then I hosted an "at home" day and a host of friends & family pitched up with fizz, food & fine gifts. A birthday cake was unveiled, candles blown out, the weather held and even the KC behaved herself!

I then got lost in a flurry of work - which was great - much needed and very welcome - and one project entailed driving to Birmingham, moderating groups for 2 nights & staying in cr*ppy hotels - ah just like the old days when I was a super keen junior exec!

Then FSHubby & I headed north - very north for a lovely week off. We rented a barn conversion very near the Northern Lakes town of Cockermouth - close enough to get to the shops, pubs & restaurants in 3 minutes but far away enough that our nearest neighbours were a herd of cows who came & chatted to us every evening. It was lovely. We ate in a nice but not brilliant (sadly) veggie restaurant, found a great local pub in the shadow of the lovely local church and drank local beer whilst listening to the pealing bells and had our first golf lesson - and we loved it! FSHubby was way better than me but I can see us doing it a lot more.

And the beds were good! amazing - no need for blow up mattress no need for emergency A&E visits.

So now we roll into summer. It has been mainly pouring with rain & very muggy so a classic British summer is on the cards methinks!

Le Grand Demi Siecle

Oh good lord. How did this happen? Tomorrow I will be half a century old ... half a century!! Yet I feel exactly the same (the odd ache & busted back aside naturellement) as when I was 18. How does that happen? The brain stays young & sharp whilst the body & bottom get squishy & saggy and the facial "laughter lines" 
are harder & harder to hide ... all this despite my penchance for spas & sweating & puffing on the trusty X-Trainer at least 3x a week ... hey ho.




And apologies the blog has been bare for a long time; after my complaining "no work, need a job" post I suddenly got inundated and have been pulling 18 hour days & working weekends just to keep my head above water - and to make sure I can go out for a lovely slap up 50th birthday meal - I have booked the tasting menu at The Chalk Lane Hotel for friends & family tomorrow night - the lovely place where we had our wedding reception. Then at the weekend I shall play queen bee & host a heap of my favourite people chez nous & really enjoy the fact I have made it this far in 1 piece!

Work Shy

Long time no blog. But no tangible reason ...

Yes have been busy battling the weather & the constant garden flooding (as has everyone else in this part of Surrey), have had a lovely weeks holiday en famille during the recent half term (FSTeens, Mother in law & sister in law all present & correct thank you), attempted a diet (did 5 days of meal replacement rubbish and gained- yes GAINED - 4lbs so have given up on that. Will follow the super successful highly scientific "eat less, move more" one now) and most recently we had an FSTeen's 18th birthday.

But that is it sadly, that is all I have been up to. Have done no work. Work has been missing. I have done nothing; nada, nowt commercial since November. It's a worry. I have not been sitting on my hands worrying however, oh no. I have been on a big new biz drive & have been calling, emailing, coffee-ing, lunching - you name it I'm doing it, but there seems to be nothing out there - well certainly nothing for me. I may soon have to take the Faux off my blog name...

So I have taken an unprecedented step. I have signed up with head-hunters. I am toying with the idea of a real job. a full time, get on the train 5 days a week proper job. But the more I think of it the more I shudder. 12 years of doing it for myself very happily; am I ready to turn my back on it? To join the great hoards of commuters? To deal daily with people? And what would the KC do all day without me to meow her demands at? No scrap that - what would I do all day without the KC?

O Tell me the Truth about Love

Some say love's a little boy,
And some say it's a bird,
Some say it makes the world go around,
Some say that's absurd,
And when I asked the man next-door,
Who looked as if he knew,
His wife got very cross indeed,
And said it wouldn't do.

Does it look like a pair of pyjamas,
Or the ham in a temperance hotel?
Does its odour remind one of llamas,
Or has it a comforting smell?
Is it prickly to touch as a hedge is,
Or soft as eiderdown fluff?
Is it sharp or quite smooth at the edges?
O tell me the truth about love.

Our history books refer to it
In cryptic little notes,
It's quite a common topic on
The Transatlantic boats;
I've found the subject mentioned in
Accounts of suicides,
And even seen it scribbled on
The backs of railway guides.




Does it howl like a hungry Alsatian,
Or boom like a military band?
Could one give a first-rate imitation
On a saw or a Steinway Grand?
Is its singing at parties a riot?
Does it only like Classical stuff?
Will it stop when one wants to be quiet?
O tell me the truth about love.



I looked inside the summer-house;
It wasn't over there;
I tried the Thames at Maidenhead,
And Brighton's bracing air.
I don't know what the blackbird sang,
Or what the tulip said;
But it wasn't in the chicken-run,
Or underneath the bed


Can it pull extraordinary faces?
Is it usually sick on a swing?
Does it spend all its time at the races,
or fiddling with pieces of string?
Has it views of its own about money?
Does it think Patriotism enough?
Are its stories vulgar but funny?
O tell me the truth about love.


When it comes, will it come without warning
Just as I'm picking my nose?
Will it knock on my door in the morning,
Or tread in the bus on my toes?
Will it come like a change in the weather?
Will its greeting be courteous or rough?
Will it alter my life altogether?
O tell me the truth about love.

WH Auden



HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO ALL!!!

A dry new year?

Kung Hei Fat Choy for the year of the yang wood horse! Here's wishing all peace, love, health, wealth & happiness

And in many ways I am looking forward to a dry new year. Firstly I am hoping for a stretch of dry weather to allow the water levels in the bog we call a garden to drop so I can get out there and tidy, prune, organise & plant. To be able to walk up the garden without needing wellingtons will be a joy & the KC would like to put her water wings & fishing gear away too!

But the oddest thing is that after a month on the cancer research self imposed no booze "dryathalon",  FSHubby and I appear to have lost our taste for alcohol. We have tried to get it back but to no avail. I am beginning to think that all that drinking we used to do, it was the idea more than the reality we liked!

There we were on Saturday 1st February all excited about the notion of a lovely relaxing glass of wine after 31 alcohol free days. We eyed the wine rack - we pondered - I even popped some fizz in the fridge just in case - then we settled on a much loved (when we were drinking) Barossa Valley Turkey Flat Marsanne, Viognier, Roussanne blend and popped that in the fridge. The sun was setting, the FSTeens were nowhere to be seen (it was Saturday night to be fair!) and I started cooking, with Loose Ends on R4 keeping me company in the kitchen.

As darkness fell, I stood at the kitchen window & watched the solar fairy lights that wrap around the garden trellis twinkle on & I thought - 'ooh here we are this is a glass of wine moment!' FSHubby bounded into the kitchen, we chose smallish glasses, popped the cork (oh OK unscrewed the cap but that doesn't sound as lovely!) poured fairly restrained amounts, clinked a "cheers" and sipped.

And then we looked at each other. And sipped again. Hmm. OK but nothing special. In fact it was a bit ... weird. Maybe we needed to get used to it again.... so we agreed to carry on with our activities & have a few more sips. After dinner & after about one and a half hours when in the old drinking days I would be considering opening the second bottle, I was feeling a bit woozy & barely ready for my second glass! The wine sat there unloved & undrunk. So I got myself a large glass of water which I drank with gusto!

I am guessing that we do need to re-educate our palates as alcohol (wine especially) has a distinctive and definite taste. But given that we saved (allegedly) 44,000 calories between us & likely £400 in 1 month, I am asking myself - do I really want to?!

A farewell to Hedonism

I read today that The Sanctuary Spa in Covent Garden is to close after 37 years and felt a tinge of sadness. The Sanctuary was my introduction to the wonderful, relaxing, self indulgent & completely hedonistic world of the spa.

I cannot remember specifically the reason for the first visit but I do remember turning up very nervous as I was conscious that The Sanctuary was the place where the infamous orgy scene in The Stud (with our very own Joan Collins) was filmed ... and it took a while for me to be able to relax enough to get on the (also infamous) swing & enjoy the experience (despite the fact in the real world it was women only). And I made at least 5 more visits, including one for a hen do & one as  I desperately needed to escape particularly noisy neighbours I had at the time & enjoy proper peace & quiet. It was stonkingly good value too - if I remember rightly it was about £35 for the day with treatments on top obviously, but that entry fee included all the wet areas (pool with swing, lap pool, sauna, steam etc.) and lounging about in a fluffy dressing gown reading magazines!

I have since been to 100's of amazing spas across the world - and even persuaded FSHubby to join me on one occasion! - and have had both great & dreadful experiences. I have been wrapped in seaweed & played whale song whilst someone gently mopped my brow in Florida; I have lain giggling with a friend in Thailand whilst our faces were carefully plied with vanilla & coffee unctions which when removed resulted in us both looking at least 10 years younger; I have had cooling herbal potions applied to (silly) sunburn in Sydney; I had the BEST pedicure EVER in a hotel in Sandton, Johannesburg and I have had massages so soporific I have had to be woken from them!

And by contrast I have been unceremoniously scrubbed with sea salt & literally hosed down as I lay naked & shivering on a marble slab & had to stop someone virtually ripping the skin off my legs as they got over enthusiastic with a very abrasive scrub.

Ah the spa - this FauxSurreyHousewife would not be the same without them - fond memories of The Sanctuary - where will stressed Lady Londoners go now?

Here's to a happy New Year

So tomorrow it is bye bye 2103; hello 2014.

But I have been thinking about the Chinese calendar. This time 12 years ago it was the end of 2001 (the Chinese new year loops on a 12 year cycle and the year of the Horse starts on 31st Jan 2014 - it was super late in 2002 it was Feb 12th) and I was sat in a central London flat with no heat or running water: the electricity had been cut off as the useless management company had not paid an electricity bill for 6 months. I was alone, had nasty food poisoning and was unemployed as I had quit my job to set up my own business and was pretty stressed. Looking back over that year it had not been a good one -  whilst I finally got rid of the biggest boyfriend mistake I ever made I was unhappily single, had had 3 jobs that year & hated all of them; I could not settle so I quit. Had to do something BIG to get myself out of my fug.

January 1st 2002 dawned and I left grey skies behind, boarded a jumbo & headed for some R&R in SA with very good friends. Then late Jan 2002 a huge project was commissioned to my very new business which was able to open its doors in profit (in the year of the horse may I add) and I got a grip and some perspective and basically things only got better. I am hoping that this new year of the Horse will also be a revelation. Whilst things in 2013 were nowhere near as bad as in 2001 (I have my practically perfect hubby now, he makes EVERYTHING better) we have had stresses in the extended family, illnesses, work could've been better and the Christmas floods were the dark icing on a not very good cake.

So - the Western New Year starts in around 18 hours and the new Chinese new year in 32 days. No doubt I will have another post for that auspicious day so in the meantime HAPPY NEW YEAR! May joy, peace & love come to all

I'm dreaming of a white - sorry WET - Christmas

Water water everywhere & not a drop to drink. The FauxSurrey Homestead took a bit of a battering this Christmas. If you have been following UK weather on the news you will have seen that dreadful weather was with us - a wet not a white Christmas! Images throughout are minutes from our door ....

During the day on the 23rd December, all was calm all was bright. Then as night fell so did the rain, then the wind picked up. We sat with our glasses of festive wine in the conservatory listening to the hammering rain on the roof thinking gosh it's bad, gosh we are lucky ... and I toddled upstairs around 10.30pm and had my toothbrush in my hand when FauxSurreyHubby's voice pierced my ears ... get down here quick!

So I legged it downstairs to find FSHubby up to his ankles in flood water in the utility - water was gushing under the door & straight through into one of the garages. The drain that should've taken all the water away was over burdened AND blocked with leaves. And then an FSTeen yelled that the conservatory roof had given in - there were 7 weak spots and each was channelling water into the house not out onto the garden. Oh f**k!!

The beginning of Christmas was therefore spent in wellies & rubber gloves, baling out, pumping out, making cups of tea, strategically placing containers to catch the roof drips, unblocking drains and simply being exhausted. We got to bed around 3AM  but I woke up again at 7AM as the KC needed to go out but as she leapt though her cat-flap she landed in 4 inches of standing water on the patio! Not happy ... mewing loudly she gingerly crept up the garden shaking each paw with each step & I tip toed behind her with my coffee carefully making my way up the garden too to see what was what - and realised ALL our garden fences had blown down too. BUT the house behind us had a massive tree wedged into a hole where their roof used to be. We really got off lightly.

And so Christmas eve itself was a blur of sweeping & pumping water off the patio, enlisting the help of our WONDERFUL neighbour & her cousin to hasten a decent repair of the fence (thank god for nail guns!) and attempt to think about what still needed to be done for the big day itself.

Then around 4pm Christmas eve, just as we were starting to feel cheered about finally being dry & OK we had a call from wonderful neighbour telling us her hubby had been trapped by a flood in his office 1 mile away and that he had to be rescued by boat - could we give her a lift (we have the big weather proof 4x4) to go through the tree strewn & flooded roads to pick him up from the rescue centre. His boat rescue was even on the 6 O'clock BBC news! Oy Oy. All too exciting.

Brain was frazzled however as I do not do well on 4 hours sleep & so many Teen Christmas gift items were left unwrapped and on the day the Christmas spirit was rather stretched! Still a bunch of visitors & a 3 hour game of Charades plus Dr Who on Christmas night cheered us all up. Another storm hit last night & we remained dry so fingers crossed the worst is over

Here's to 2014!!!

Strictly a Christmas Treat

Bit late but heartfelt - HUGE congratulations to Abbey Clancy & the IMPOSSIBLY handsome Aljaz Skorjanec on lifting the coveted Strictly Glitterball.

I am ashamed to say I judged the book by its cover & was with the doubters when the beautiful, gamine, pouty, ridiculously wealthy footballers wife (she's Mrs Peter Crouch) first appeared on the launch show & I fell into the "she won't be able to do anything 'cos I bet she's never had to do anything" trap - WRONG!

As Craig said, she was a revelation - a beautiful dancer who was a joy to watch; her pre dance nerves were so painfully evident at times but she conquered them. She has drive, determination, bucketloads of natural talent, is surprisingly self deprecating, and she put in the hard yards - she deserved to win. Oh and she's a Scouser to boot; Go Abbey!