The Only Way is Chelsea

So here I am in pain. Leaning back on my special back chair to type this, I am hurting but feeling good.  It is justifiable well earned pain. I have been hoe-ing & digging & tidying & weeding & clearing. And my super fragile back does not like that - but I had to do it. I had to spend 2 back breaking hours in the FauxSurreyGarden today as it's Chelsea time - the Royal Horticultural society Chelsea Flower Show that is - and watching the coverage on the beeb last night gave me an almighty kick up the whatsit to get out there & sort our beautiful garden out!

FS-Hubby & FS-StepSon are very good at the big stuff - they keep on top of the mowing (note to self - we must get our ride on mower working again as FSHubby's back not great ... and we are blessed with a huge lawn) and the digging & the shed & the strimming and stuff like that but the weeding & planting are my area and I have been neglectful. Well I've been busy ...  but today I gathered my gardening kit around me (hoe, Fisker weed magic thing, trowel, secateurs, big bucket & garden bin) and went for it.I showed the weeds no mercy.

Naturally the KC came out & joined me then she realised I was digging up some of her favourite hiding places so she decided to simply run around the garden, choosing to run in front of me at inopportune moments!

BUT - I now look out at a (virtually) weed free, well kept garden to be proud of. Also, I spent an hour cleaning out the grubby, algae ridden water feature yesterday, so the tinkling backlit water is now a clear & clean blue hued waterfall not all murky green & sludgy as it had been; all we need now is a bit of sunshine to get out there with a G&T & enjoy it!

Saved by the airbed!

FauxSurreyHubby and I went on jolly hols last week. All had been meticulously planned and arranged.

Big, beautifully furnished luxury cotttage in prime Cumbrian village location, walking distance to fab pubs & L'Enclume (oh yes we have been back!!) - tick. Call made to agent to explain my rubbish back & that I need a board / firm bed - tick. The KC's favourite live in cat sitter booked months ago & all paid for - tick. Plans made to look at houses whilst we were there as this is where we are running away to - tick!! Essential food & drink items all identified & ready to come with us (olive oil, gin, coffee etc) - tick!

So - all tickety boo then?! Yeah right - don't be daft this is US trying to go on holiday!

Untick #1 - FauxSurreyHubby slipped a disc 6 days before we went caused by him lugging concrete blocks around the garden - properly slipped in that he could not even stand up properly (my job I think you will find); a flurry of physio appointments ensued & a week off work was taken. Painkillers were also forced down his throat! What is it with boys & not taking painkillers??

Untick #2 - the KC's fave catsitter cancelled at the last minute - a family emergency / illness prevented her from coming to live here whilst we were away & doting on the kitty. Calls were made, emails went back & forth and there was a mad scramble by cat sitting company to find a suitable alternative. They found an alternative but I am still not best pleased - all a bit complicated but I ended up paying EXTRA for a woman I didn't know / didn't really want ... it all worked out in the end (as it does) but go figure! Stress levels began to rise.

Untick #3 - to be fair the holiday house was gorgeous - beautiful kitchen replete with Smeg fridge & Aga range, full on Sky TV (we watched a bunch of recent movies we had missed!), very flash bathrooms, beautiful little courtyard; silent, what else could we want? Try a DECENT MATTRESS!!!! Despite being provided with a board the beds were a disaster; there were 3 bedrooms and we attempted to sleep in all of them in various combinations (sleeping apart NOT the point of a holiday) meaning I slipped a disc day 3 meaning we ended up on our emergency orthopaedic airbed. Yes we slept on the floor in what was the childrens room ... and what is it with unlined curtains that keep NO light out so you are awake at 5AM?

Untick #4 - stupidly we had not booked a restaurant for the Sunday night - a bank holiday Sunday so all local pubs & restuarants were rammed. FSHubby tootled off to get a Chinese takeaway from Grange Over Sands. Not the centre of Chinese cuisine I can tell you. Ugh. Disgusting. Barely resembled Chinese food if I am honest! Ranks up there in the 5 worst meals I have ever had.

Untick #5 - we had found a bit of a dream house - affordable enough to buy now & get it ready slowly to run away to, HUGE (5 beds) great potential on the edge of a little village called Lindale. I had contacted the agent to organise a viewing but as it was such a fab bargain by the time we got there, all ready to see it, it was sold!!

Untick # 6 - whilst we were away (and therefore unable to stop her ...) 17 year old StepDaughter put yet ANOTHER hole in her flesh - taking count to 10 or 11 now - this one is in her body, through her belly button. I feel sick even typing about it! Chav-tastic or what? She is such a beautiful girl, I really don't get this low level self abuse / self harming.

So what went right?? Oh OK lots really!

We are now 100% certain this is the part of the world we will run away to when we can quit work & start slowing down. FSHubby & I inadvertantly went to what turned out to be a stunning vegetarian restaurant - even carnivore hubby loved it! Our meal at L'Enclume was STUNNING! We spent a couple of nights hanging out in our favourite local Cartmel pub The Cavendish Arms; we walked the length of the prom at Grange Over Sands admiring the view of the bay & saw Steve Coogan & his stunning 1960's Aston Martin at the pub at the beginning of the walk (rock & roll!); we had hand made pear drops ice cream in the sunshine on the beach at Arnside; we enjoyed shopping in Booths Supermarkets (think Waitrose but better!!)

We found a crystal glass outlet & I spent big on 50's style champagne saucers, gin glasses & whisky glasses; we stopped in  Kirkby Lonsdale for a fab afternoon tea & saw a beautiful ginger cat sleeping on a ledge at Ruskins View (said view is the stunning view to the right); we visited a favourite shop in Barnoldswick (another place we could live!) and bagged a bargain fabulous solid mahogany coffee table; we also discovered a really funky & fabulous coffee shop / bar / restaurant - The Green Chimney - in Colne (https://www.facebook.com/pages/Green-Chimney/346327295479526  they are on FaceBook I am most certainly not!) & had the best coffee we've had in a long time.

So not all bad!

My Beautiful Launderette

Yet again I have proved to myself beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am missing the DIY gene. Completely and utterly.

Picture the scene. Finally the rain has stopped and the temperature in good old Surrey is rising. Perfect day to do some washing I thought. First lot of whites go into our 7 year old (ie past its best) smeg. Take bizarre work call which gets me confused & slightly annoyed & I am about to pop second lot in when I (foolishly) look closely at the detergent drawer; Ugh, Could do with a clean.

Musing on the call & so not really paying attention I clean out the drawer and put all the bits back properly (so I think) and as I am slightly cross I whack the drawer back into place. I don't push is gently I thump it. Then I try and open it to put detergent in. It won't open. It is jammed. Naturally my instinct is to whack & pull and thump but no. I guess I could do a load without Calgon or Vanish Oxi whatsit & without softener but I don't want to.

I look online for a solution. There isn't one. The most helpful suggestion is to completely break the drawer OR take the machine to pieces & remove obstruction from the top. Despite the fact the machine is less than new I don't want to break anything. So I decide to take the machine to pieces. Lovely competent neighbour pops over to help - pah how hard can this be? Who needs boys??

An hour & a half later we have dismantled the machine, wriggled everything about then eventually had to force the lid to get to the damn soap drawer but WE HAVE REMOVED THE OBSTRUCTION! Then putting the machine back together begins. How hard can it be - we kept the screws in separate piles .. didn't we? Ooops droped one ... was it important? Doesn't fit well - oh just keep screwing. Does it matter that plastic thing broke off? Bang lid back on & hey presto!

I start a mini wash just to see my handiwork work - all goes well until 2 minutes in BEEP BEEP error code E01. Look it up. Leak /electrical malfunction - stop now. FSHubby gets home and spends an hour on a wet floor (after a 12 hour day at the office) trying to rectify my bodging. He is not best pleased (but most impressed I had managed to dismantle the whole machine!) I buy fish & chips. Pour beer. Wring out towels. Apologise. Turn electricity supply off. Then at 9pm I admit defeat & go online & spend £500 of my hard earned cash on a brand new washing machine. And here I am, waiting at home, twiddling my thumbs, as despite paying £30 to guarantee a timed delivery it will be 2 hours late.

One of those days huh?

Film 2013

When it comes to watching movies I have realised that I have become a squeamish child again. No fighting, no shouting, no blood, no horrible deaths, no sadness, no cruelty, no threatening behaviour ... basically the scariest I can go is Harry Potter, the saddest Dumbo & Bambi, the most exciting any James Bond (or if I am feeling grown up The Bourne movies). I want to watch a film & feel GOOD about the world afterwards not wonder what's wrong with humanity.

The lid was put on this realisation last night. FSHubby was home late & tired (as ever) and just wanted to collpase in front of the TV. However there was zero worth watching on TV so we thought aha! A movie! And here the problem started. FSHubby checked the movies he's downloaded over the past few months. Star Trek? The new one. Ugh no. OK Robin Hood - also the new one with the marvellous Cate & the useless Russell. Hmm - what else? The Hurt Locker? An Oscar winning movie! NO - about war & bombs & people really killing each other. Miserable. OK The Ghost Writer - one of my favourite actors Pierce Brosnan is in it? Looked at plot - political intrigue, personal threat & no happy ending - anything else? No Country For Old Men? - also Oscar winning - good lord no - violent & dark & miserable

I never used to be like this. I used to devour movies of all genres. I saw Pulp Fiction more than twice; I willingly went to see Sophies Choice & Schindlers List (although after both I went home in silence, shell shocked, pondering human nature). I have seen all the Alien & Predator films; I've even watched The Accused & Sleeping with the Enemy. I once gave in to FSHubby & agreed to watch a terrifying film called Sin City. Oh my goodness. I had full on nightmares for 3 weeks afterwards. Although I have NEVER seen Reservoir Dogs & given what I have read about the film I never want to.

And then one day I decided that filling my head & therefore my life with cruelty, negativity, violence, threat, fear & sadness was not a good thing. If I want that, all I have to do is watch the news. And that I would choose from now on to be entertained & entranced & made to feel better not worse. To watch films with a happy ending or if necessary where good prevails over evil, where the world is actually a basically NICE place and a place where people do find joy & redemption.

So I will continue to watch & re-watch Powell & Pressburger classics like I Know Where I'm Going, A Matter of Life & Death and The Life & Death of Colonel Blimp. My box set of every Doris Day movie ever made will stay within easy reach. I will default to the Harry Potter series, choose a James Bond (or even an Austin Powers - Yeah Baby!), or Zoolander or Dodgeball (god bless Ben Stiller - and bring on Zoolander 2) or I will watch again & again a spiky Sandra Bullock find love in The Proposal (and swoon over the scenery & the house - oh and of course Ryan Reynolds)

Yes. I will continue to choose to cheer myself & fill my head with notions of
happiness & fun & love & kindness.

Sorry - what was that - Pollyanna? Moi?

(addenum - see this link - I AM right!!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/apr/12/news-is-bad-rolf-dobelli)

R.I.P. The Iron Lady

Whatever my politics may be I cannot let the demise of the UK's ONLY female prime minister go without mention. As a child growing up on a council estate in the 60's & 70's my parents generation worked hard & were sick to death of 3 day weeks, household rubbish piling up on the street not being collected, wage freezes and the ubiquitous strikes.

So when Mrs T came along talking what seemed immense common sense and refusing to allow the country to be bullied into financial ruin by misogynist, arrogant, workshy union nutters, a sigh of relief was palpable around our estate. There were an awful lot of working class people in the 70's & 80's proud to call themselves Thatcherites. As many as who hated her & everything she stood for. And goodness me she is still managing to really rile people even though she's gone!

She was absolutely not to eveyones taste. She believed utterly & completely in self awareness, self responsibility & self motivation. It's up to you mate - don't expect help from anyone else. She made difficult decisions; she looked at out of date & unprofitable industries and told them modernise or die - and they chose death. I was essentially anti Thatcher in my youth. As an ambitious teenager in the 80's in Liverpool still working out my own politics, I assumed I stood firmly on the left but was pushed further to the right than I expected to be as I was harangued daily by newspaper sellers not just selling but forcing Socialist Worker upon me and by angry rude bucket rattlers shouting at me to "Support the Miners!" - and who often followed me down the street, verbally abusing me after I refused a screech in my face & a bucket rattling; No I will choose to NOT support the miners with my hard earned cash thanks.

What was it Winston Churchill said? "If you're not a liberal at twenty you have no heart, if you're not a conservative at forty you have no brain". Hmm. I like to think I still have both.

And lest we forget, whatever you may think, someone's mother & someones grandmother has just passed away.

A Local Pub ...

... finally! For local people like us!

One of the few gripes FauxSurreyHubby & I have about our much loved, blissful corner of Surrey is that we are rather short of 'fabulous pubs within walking distance'. Our recent trip to Cartmel highlighted this (which is not really fair as in Cartmel village there were not only 3 fabulous pubs within a 10 minute stroll we were almost on top of a Michelin starred restuarant, but still ...) and the other evening FSHubby & I decided to take a walk into our local village and go the the local chain pub & just have a meal out; never mind the quality, feel the walk to earn our tea!
25 minutes were spent walking & chit chatting & sticky-beaking into other peoples house as we went the long way 'round and we found ourselves at a prefectly decent chain pub. There was a roaring fire, nice fabric on the chairs & the wine & beer were decent enough. Taking the menus to our table however our spirits fell. All the food was what can only be described as "freezer to fryer" - burgers, chips, fishcakes etc.

 

FSHubby whipped out his iPhone and started searching for alternative venues, and a very surprisng result popped up. Not a 2 minute walk from the OK pub was apparently a local gem. BUT we had in fact been to this place about 18 months ago & were not best impressed. However all the reviews were within the past 8 months so we thought - why not? Let's take a chance.

And BOY were we rewarded! The Leg of Mutton & Cauliflower is indeed a true gem. It has recently been taken over & refurbished and it was gorgeous. Old fashioned where it needed to be, modernised & done up in other parts. The pub has now been properly divided into a saloon bar, bar & proper starched tablecloth restaurant. The staff were smiley, the ambience was warm and welcoming and the menu spectacular. We were in pub heaven.

We ate the following & it was perfect - the fondue especially was 10/10

 

OAK SMOKED SCOTTISH SALMON

WITH CHIVE AND POTATO ROSTI AND LEMON, CAPER DRESSING

SMOKED APPLE WOOD FONDUE (V)

SERVED WITH HERB CROUTONS

BRAISED PIGS CHEEKS

WITH CONFIT BACON, SAVOY CABBAGE, CELERIAC AND CHANTENAY CARROTS AND A RICH PORK JUS

WILD MUSHROOM AND SPINACH RAVIOLI (V) (N)

WITH WILTED RADICCHIO AND PINE NUT SALAD DRESSED WITH PESTO

Everyone go - keep this pub open & thriving - lord knows our village needs
it!
http://www.legashtead.co.uk/

Whether the weather ...

.. be cold?
Or whether the weather be hot?
We'll weather the weather, whatever the weather, we'll weather it, like it or not!

Ah childhood poems can often sum up brilliantly exactly what I am thinking.

Have just returned from a mini spa break for best friends' 'big 5-0' celebrations and encountered the classic 4 seasons in a day.

Arrived at Spa in grey-ish but fairly warm conditions. After a LOVELY swim & wonderful full on hydrotherapy session (think tropical rain showers + crystal saunas + ice rooms and bubbling jacuzzis) the sun was out. By the time the mud / slimming / seaweed wrap had sunk in & magically detoxed me (removing inches in the process too ... hahaha!) the rain had started again and by the time the re-toxing pre dinner fizz was chilled it was howling gales.

 

The weather seems to just be doing whatever it wants at the moment without a heed to the month or indeed the season. Today, 21st March it is supposed be officially spring - and whilst earlier in the week the weather did indeed have a little springlike quality to it, (the sun popped out for about 30 mins) the weather forecast (going FROM winter to spring mind) is not good.

And it is indeed causing me problems beyond wrapping up warm & leaving the heating at 25 degrees. The FauxSurreyStepTeens bought me trays of lovely vibrantly coloured plug plants for Mother's day; yet 12 days later they are still languising in the garage, still wrapped in their polystyrene boxes in a vain attempt to keep them warm, waiting for the weather to creep above freezing.



But if I was hoping to garden this coming weekend dream on - weather forecast is for minus 1 celcius and 90% chance of snow ...

The Dressing Gown of Dreams

(with thanks to Edward Monkton)

And the Dressing Gown of Dreams shall be worn at weekends when its full power is unleashed.  Its cuddly cotton pile will call to the KC who will willingly and happily cuddle up to its normally ignored wearer, put her head and paws on the wearers thigh and snuggle in tight. For the first time in SIX years ...

And the wearer shall not move a muscle and will shed small tears of complete joy as the KC gazes up at her with genuine love.

The Digital Age

Had a lovely weekend with the FauxSurreyStepTeens. They are an utter delight (despite their living away from us!) and amused us no end but the FauxSurreyStepDaughter had her tinny little BlackBerry coughing out her favourite music for us which we could barely hear so FauxSurreyHubby downloaded it immediately via Spotify and played it (but irritatingly not in full as FSHubby is incapable of listening to a whole song) on our state of the art amazing stereo - and all that music got me reminiscing wildly.

When I was 17 (in 1981... 32 years ago!!) music was everything. My older sister & would head into  town every Saturday morning & hang out at the local Virgin Music Store (remember record shops?) listening to all the new bands & flirting with the blokes behind the counter  - who of course in those days were all amateur musicians too (I even started dating one of them - and we were together 11 years!) then clutching our latest purchase we would be desperate to get home to crank up the stereo & listen repeatedly to our latest hit pop record!

These days StepDaughter is downloading the highly produced Ben Howard, Justin Timberlake & Macklemore to be replayed in her bedroom whilst she's on Facebook in tinny tones through the headphones on her BlackBerry. The bizarre reality is despite all the tech advances & vast improvements in slick production she is probably listening to her tunes in the same state as I did!

I vividly remember, all those years ago, caressing a bright green vinyl 'Message In A Bottle' Police single and carefully placing the needle of our cheap white plastic stereo into the groove - and hearing that unmistakable crrrr hiisssss sound as the track started; I remember unfolding the complex album cover for Elvis Costello's Armed Forces to reveal the shiny vinyl inside and one Saturday night turning all the lights off to lie in the dark with the cat, listening to U2's Boy, and it being a revelation - waves of haunting guitar riffs never heard before came tumbling out of the speakers; all Steve Lillywhite uber polish-produced, causing me to conjecture wildly on what the future may hold, whilst wallowing in teenage angst - that is until my nan came in the room to turn the lights on and tell me off for wasting my life!

Let's Love One Another

In honour of 14th February!

Tell me, are we alive or just a dying planet?
What are the chances?
Ask the man in your heart for the answers.

And when you feel afraid, love one another
When you've lost your way, love one another
When you're all alone, love one another
When you're far from home, love one another
When you're down & out, love one another
All your hope's run out, love one another
When you need a friend, love one another
When you're near the end, love one another
We got to love one another

Light of the world, you got to shine
Love will be a means
Shine on us all
Know that love can save the day
Just give it one more chance
Lord you just can't let it stop lord
Love is the answer
Got to be free to let love into your life
Let it shine

Happy Valentines Day!

 Words & Music Frederiksen, Marti/Healy, Jeff/ Rockman, Joe

Kung Hey Fat Choi!!

Or should I say Happy New Year of the Yin Water Snake!

Bit late with this to wish all well as the actual Chinese New Years Day was on Sunday  10th February but I can share a Feng Shui prediction for the coming year (taken from fengshuimall.com)
"Prediction from the Paht Chee charts reveals that the year of the Water Snake 2013 continues to see better times thanks to its well-balanced element combinations. This signifies a year when everyone could see an improving trend. Natural or man-made disasters and energy of hostility will reduce considerably. A new sense of peace will fill the year. Countries will display better diplomacy and goodwill among each other, where more friendly coalition and cooperation taking place. Goodwill is abundant. The 2013 chart analysis also suggests there are sufficient resources for new prosperity to prevail."

Let's hope it's right!