AC = DC!

Aircon = damn cool. This unseasonably muggy weather has made us FauxSurrey types grateful for a rash purchase about 5 years ago – a portable aircon unit! Having lived in Asia many moons ago I remembered the cool dry bliss afforded by having the wall mounted unit on high for an hour or so before I went to bed & so when in 2005 (I think) the mercury charged up the thermometer & we were living in what could best be described as a small wooden box right on an A road (i.e. opening windows not possible unless you thrived on thundering lorry noises & sought death by carbon monoxide), grabbing a type 1 floor standing portable aircon unit from Wickes seemed smart.

And in reality it is smart. Whilst the noise it makes can be compared to a thundering lorry itself at times, we can set it to 18 degrees (yes! A cold 18 – lovely) whilst we sweat gently downstairs in front of open French windows seeking any suggestion of a breeze and then snuggle down under the duvet as -ooh, it’s nice & chilled! In theory it works well as we shove the outlet pipe up our chimney (of course we have a fireplace in the bedroom!) so in theory with all windows shut we have a sealed room. Yes in theory. Let’s not forget we are slaves to a cunning black ball of ‘cuddle-me-at night’ fur who, when she feels the need, gently pushes the bedroom door open and after requisite cuddle jumps down to lie in the gap of the now quite open door enjoying cool air on her face & warm air on her tail ....

3 sugars?

I am currently experiencing the joys of decorators. Which means I am making constant cups of tea (with at least 3 sugars) dealing with complete & utter dereliction upstairs (it WILL look good when it’s done!) and managing the KC who is on the verge of a nervous breakdown as all her favourite places to sit / sleep are either covered in debris or covered in decorators cloth. She has now decided the only place that she can get peace is 6 foot up in a high tiny cupboard in one of the spare bedrooms & so she climbs up me & onto my shoulders to get there! It wouldn’t be so bad however if they actually turned up on time. Oh yes we’ll be there at 9 they trill as they leave at 5. It’s now ten past ten & I’m home alone (well the KC is in the cupboard) twiddling my thumbs wondering what I can achieve whilst waiting & where on earth they are. Telephone call duly made – I’m 2 minutes away – says the voice. He’s here now with great excuses & a bucket, but has to go out almost immediately he's got here to get the paint ... I do think if I approached my work like that how long would I last??! Still at least I'm paying a job not an hourly rate!!

Tick ... tick ... ugh!

I noticed during a lovely cuddle session a couple of days ago that the KC had an unusual lump near her mouth. Hmm I thought, that's odd. Alerted hubby. He took a look (NB of course neither of us are vets or even vaguely medically qualified but both are good at hypochondria). Hubby's declaration? Likely a skin tag. But who knows, could be something less benign ... Checked with another cat friendly friend -- hmm could be, but may be worth checking out at vet. So out came cat carrier in anticipation of vet visit (and off went the KC -she's not daft) and then super cat aware friend / neighbour popped over for tea. Take a look I said - could be something dreadful... Sensible & very cat aware neighbour took one look & laughed - it's a tick! And off she went to get her tick removal equipment (she has 2 cats & is super adept at this tick removal lark) & 3 minutes (and one grumpy KC) later all was done! Have never ever had a cat with ticks before. Never even seen one! The dangers of the faux countryside huh? (NB toy tick as image as real one - well - honestly - gross!!)

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head...

.. and on my shoulders & my feet & the KC's ears and on the garden & in fact on everything today. And it has been impressively accompanied by rolls of thunder & flashes of lightning. So why is it that as I am being virtually drowned from above all I hear on the radio is news of droughts ... well OK I know why - the fact we've had almost no rain this year and the reservoirs & rivers are dangerously low (have brain .. doh!) but it's the sheer mad dissonance between what I am hearing & what I am seeing that makes me think ... uhhh??

Happy Birthday Prince Philip!

Now I wouldn't describe myself as a royalist as such but I do have a soft spot for Phil The Greek who has just turned 90. His amazing capacity for massively un pc (but often saying what we're all thinking) gaffes is unique! He is being much quoted at the moment in honour of said 90th and 2 of my favourites are here for your amusement:

"If you travel as much as we do, you appreciate the improvements in aircraft design of less noise and more comfort, provided you don’t travel in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly." To the Aircraft Research Association in 2002. (Ooh I can empathise totally with that one!)

To a new MP in the House of Commons (I am now paraphrasing) "What did you do before you got this job?" (MP) "I was in a trade union" (Phil) "Ah, bugger all then!" (MP, in a vain attempt to get back at Phil) "Oh, and what did you do before you got your job?!" (Phil) "Fought in the second world war" Touché!

Singin' in the Rain

I do have the most spectacular view from my desk. An early start this morning as tomorrow I will leave the joyful confines of my fauxsurrey office & get on a train & go to a real office all day (eek!) and so have to get some work done in preparation. But for now, if I raise my head from my keyboard I get to gaze at poppies & peonies, daisies and dahlias & vines, jasmine & honeysuckle. And this morning – this very wet indeed morning - aside from the floral cornucopia, I glimpsed a very loud (in every way!) feathered visitor to the bird feeder – a vibrant green Parakeet. Shrieking as it landed to let all know of its arrival (although as it’s hosing down right now the KC, conked out on cashmere, didn’t even flick an ear) it settled on the feeder & was a delightful tropical flash of psychedelic colour on a very grey morning. Gorgeous!

Enough is enough

I don't often repeat uber-schmaltzy things - you know those emails you get that go on about how "I wish I'd let the kids run riot & paint the house psychedelic yellow before I died too young" type thing (sorry, but you know what I mean!) but I got something today I saw as more thought provoking than schmaltzy so here it is - something thought provoking for a Wednesday

"Recently I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the father said, 'I love you, and I wish you enough.' The daughter replied, 'Dad, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Dad.' They kissed and the daughter left. The Father walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'
'Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'... 'I am old, and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is - the next trip back will be for my funeral,' he said.
When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?' He began to smile. 'That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone...' He paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and he smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I wish you enough,' we wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.' Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how grey the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

He then walked away"

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them; but then an entire life to forget them. To all my friends and loved ones, I WISH YOU ENOUGH.

Hickory Dickory Dock ...

The mouse ran into the fireplace! Yet again more cat-astrophes (see what I did there??). I thought the KC waiting under the bird box was bad enough – no no no today she graduated from birds to mammals. There I was in the kitchen, after having checked an 8 country debrief before breakfast, (oh yes all very high powered in the faux countryside) artfully arranging my freshly cut roses into a bouquet to give to a friend who has everything (including a stunning mega bucks house & a brand new baby) when I heard this terrible squealing. Suddenly the KC came haring past me & went straight upstairs ignoring my yelling to “drop that thing now!” Following her into our bedroom (it had to be didn’t it – we have the white Sheridan bedding) she dropped the mouse (for that was what was squealing) behind the door. Here it cowered for a while. Grabbing my trusty “KC Victim Rescue System”™ (which is not simply an ice cream tub with holes in the lid thank you) I tried to persuade Mr Mouse to enter of his own free will. Whereupon the KC swatted him (she was no help) and so he ran straight into the gas fire fireplace. The hardest most obscure place to hide! After 5 minutes of futile “pawing” the lightweight KC gave up & went out! So there we were, me, a mouse & firstly a Hoover (thought I’d suck him out but nope, suction of a Henry on full power not strong enough), then a chopstick (to poke him out but he kept jumping over it) then I rang hubby who suggested turning the fire on to either sweat him out or – well - burn him out (NO!!) & so after virtually dismantling the fireplace I thought a bit harder & eureka! I got a metal tape measure & some silicone tongs. I poked the tapes metal end inside the fireplace to annoy him & then grabbed the tail that poked out as he turned to get away from the tape & of course his instinct was to turn & bite whatever had grabbed him so I had good purchase & I finally managed to get him into the “KC Victim Rescue System”™. I then legged it downstairs. The KC meanwhile had heard the squeaking (do you know how loud a mouse can squeak??) and so followed me – but I foxed her, she went back garden & I went front garden & over the road, Neighbour now has latest rescue! Although all neighbours that side have cats so how long he’ll last I don’t know but it’s not on my hands anymore! It’s a hard life being soft when you own a killer cat ....

Cheat!

Oh the KC is a naughty girl sometimes. Despite being terrified of these very high winds & so refusing to venture out much (she has spent most the past few days conked out on a bed or at the top of a wardrobe, snuggled on my ancient but still loved Prada Angora sweater... which am sure has been chewed & pawed as she “gets comfy”), no, when she does decide she’s brave enough to take on the force 9 in the garden she heads straight to one place – a strategic spot underneath our solitary bird box where a family of blue tits are nesting. There she sits patiently waiting for the chicks to fledge. As when they do ... wobble wobble plop ... they fall straight into her open waiting jaws!! Cheating or what?! Don’t be too horrified I am not being callous; I know she does this as she then runs straight to me with this tiny terrified thing held firm but unharmed in her mouth, beside herself with pride. We then play “give the tiny baby bird to mummy you monster” which I always win & I carefully pop the lucky chick back in its box. For the whole thing to happen all over again! The only way to distract her is with prawns.... or some other form of delicious treat. It’s now occurred to me that I have created exactly what I wanted to avoid ... her determination to get a chick as she has developed a Pavlovian response – get chick, get treat. Oops.

All Change!

Have decided that as we are fast approaching summer a new fresh 'summery' look for the blog would be nice. Whilst the previous one was very sophisticated it was also quite dark; I think the pink candy stripe is far more Doris Day, kitsch, fun & jolly! And you don't get much jollier (or kitsch) than our very own Miss Day - see pic smelling a rose - wearing white gloves!! I really was born too late, I'd've killed to be in any of Doris' "sex comedies" (as they were called - honest! No sex at all anywhere near any of them, but as she got married at the end of each of them I guess it was implied??) The clothes were so amazing. In Pillow Talk she plays an interior designer whose hats honestly actually match her frocks. She goes out to dinner in a dress Pippa Middleton would've happily worn as chief royal bridesmaid .... Except I'm sure none of the outfits would thank you for shoving them in the washing machine and eating chocolate or drinking red wine in a tight white frock wouldn't be smart. Guess I should be grateful for my fauxsurrey uniform of jeans & a sweatshirt...

First past the post

Hello from the Golden First Lounge in Kuala Lumpur. Despite my insisting that I would take on this current project at 4/5 of my normal day rate as I WON'T be travelling - oops here I am in South East Asia - how did that happen?? And last week I was in Germany ... anyway balls got dropped as is the way with big complex international projects & so I stepped in & sort of volunteered to head here - looking at flights, as I had less than 2 weeks to organise it, it transpired that flying on Malaysian Airlines was (a) sensible as it was direct and (b) fabulous as all classes except First were booked out! I had the truly surreal experience of flying out here as the only passenger in First - so my bed was set up in a different seat to the one I was watching a movie in & another seat was set up for dinner!!! The champagne was Dom Perignion (OK you can't have everything!) the amenities pack was full of La Prairie (thank you very much) and my duvet was silk. Spoiled? I should think so. As I worked out that I will be in the air for 26 hours & on the ground working for 48 I have zero guilt. Adios, am about to go get pampered again.