Jealous? Moi?

Oh dear. I am suffering a serious case of a deadly sin - envy. House envy to be specific. We knew that when we bought the “wreck” there would be much to do & we would have to just sit it out in chaos & old old things for a while as we both decided what to do & also gathered enough pennies to do it. But a number of invites to neighbours houses have turned me a peculiar and unpleasant shade of envy green. Behind fairly ordinary front doors lurk extraordinary interiors – cavernous ultra modern kitchens, all high gloss & marble, with breakfast bars & built in coffee machines, bi-fold doors that open onto landscaped gardens & swimming pools, cinema rooms, full gyms & pool tables, walk in dressing rooms (a la Sex & the City). People apparently moved out for months whilst their houses were semi demolished & then rebuilt beautifully. Stuff you imagine only lives in interiors magazines to make you sigh an “oh if that were possible how lovely” sigh is real in my street! So last week was spent with a copy of our floor plans, a bottle of tippex & my fevered imagination, followed by a flurry of "please quote" emails to carpet fitters, decorators & builders. And yes, the purchase of many lottery tickets to fund my envy dreams!

happy!

follow this link (or cut & paste as I can't work out how you embed the video! doh!) to see something just lovely. This totally made my day
Laughter really is the best medicine!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RP4abiHdQpc

Stoned

There is a wonderful hush hanging over the faux-country (oh OK, suburbia) as I type – the kind of hush where you can hear the blackbirds singing & the purring of the KC as she finally sleeps deeply with her ears down. The kind of hush that can only be fully appreciated at the end of 3 weeks of drilling, hammering, banging & cement mixing. It’s all done. Finito. No more making 8 cups of tea a day, no more running out of sugar (how these guys aren’t diabetic is beyond me – 3 sugars??) Yes, today the patio was finally finished & so we had a “let’s go with a bang” day as the people next door carried on with their extension (drilling thru’ breezeblock) and to add to the chaos we finally had the oaks “trimmed" by men climbing all over them with chainsaws and all the bark & twigs got chipped mechanically in the front garden. It was so loud the KC even sat next to me on the sofa for an hour (obviously in the hope my bulk would buffer her from the din) and I had to put the subtitles on when watching Neighbours. Quite. But we now have a stunningly beautiful York stone patio (complete with fossil bits – see our lovely leaf fossil!) & 2 very smart trees. Yes all that is lovely. However as a result of 3 weeks of having everything piled onto it & bearing the brunt of boots & rain & cement mixers, the front half of the lawn of course is destroyed ... in fact it's best described as a mud flat. .... next?

Holiday? Celebrate!

A miracle. We have just been away and all went well! Well there was drama back at home but more of that later – yes we went on a holiday that broke neither me nor the bank. The hotel was perfect; the rooms were exactly as described: huge & silent with, great views, designer bathroom accessories & Frette sheets on the bed. The bar had a great wine list & was funky & cause for much amusement (you don’t expect Shane Warne style hair worn with skin-tight silk shirts & shiny pointy boots in the middle of Dorset. And that was just the men!) The food in the restaurant was amazing! Dinner was sublime & the breakfast delicious. I am still in shock.... But what a fiasco back at home. The KC was left (grudgingly – her not us!) with a cat sitter who she knows well. Not her usual but there we are. Waking at 8ish Sunday morning I switched my phone on to get 3 texts – first text sent at half past midnight. From cat sitter to tell me all the electric was off ... 2nd text sent at 12.45AM to let me know she’d run out in her PJ’s to get help from a neighbour who had been coming home from a night out & they’d sorted it. 3rd text was telling me that fixing electrics must be a “boy thing” & that all’s well, not to worry! Now this is not the first time we have had problems when leaving the KC with sitters. Virtually every time we've gone off on jolly hols we’ve received calls telling us variously that the heating had gone off, the burglar alarm was broken & needed silencing at a cost of £200 or that there was no hot water as the boiler was broken .... Once we even got a call telling us that the sitter had been admitted to hospital! Hmm .. only one common denominator here. The KC looks far too innocent to me... where does she hide her toolkit??

The webs we weave

Have just created a lot of work for myself. Having realised that my little company will soon turn 10 (Heavens TEN years of making my own money! That’s amazing....) anyway, having realised a big anniversary was on its way I decided I should sort some interesting marketing out. And as we know good marketing can take time. So I took a look at my website to get ideas on where to start. Unfortunately my first thought as I opened the front page was not “Oh yes! Great!” it was ‘Oh. Dear. God’. Now don’t get me wrong, when I launched, close to the beginning of this new millennium, the look & feel of it was absolutely completely right. Corporate. Big Business. Serious. But now ... hmm not so sure. Especially as not so long ago an old friend (with impeccable taste & marketing skills) commented that it looked like a front for an illegal arms dealing ring! So – clearly one of the first things I need is a website redesign. But it’s harder than you think. I am neither technically / web literate nor arty in the least (I was asked to tidy the shelves during art classes at school. Seriously. And I have to say as a result my tidying skills are second to none. Hubby would say anal; I’d say always ready for a House & Garden shoot) Anyway, I digress, not artistic. But I know what I like & sort of what I want. So I have sent a heap of “ideas” to my web geniuses & am now waiting to see what comes back. And not only do I need to revamp the look, the content needs major updating as again, whilst 10 years ago what was on there was super relevant, now it’s yesterday’s news. So I am now obsessed with checking back through old work files for “insights” to pepper my new website with, and looking hard at every website that may be my "competition" (and to be honest even some that have nothing at all to do with what I do!) Meanwhile the KC is being left to choose between hiding upstairs all day or risking a coronary as we are having our patio re-laid. Which means – god forbid – strangers at close quarters. Standing about & making noises in HER garden. Every time she sees a workman she panics & launches herself back into the safety of the house, slam dunk style through the cat flap, sliding across the Amtico till she hits something solid! Oy Oy...

Walk on by ...

Grrrr ... never good to start with a grrr but I will end with a hurrah!! Have been motivated through various means, people & “life wheels” (yes, yes I know) to get off my butt & start making changes to the things I want to change in my life. Spent the morning at the optician & have another key health check lined up. But amusing as it was (eyebrow raising more than belly laugh), if I’m honest, the WeightWatchers recipes episode got to me. I AM overweight these days, and by quite a lot. But as I am rubbish at diets, I need to do the ‘move more’ (obviously along with some ‘eat less’) However I have been in the wars lately & frankly unable to move more. Post the March stress fracture fiasco, my attempts to fix things did not go well. My brush with a ‘Gait Specialist’ was not a good one. Aside from the fact that every time I went for my hideously expensive (BUPA – phew!) appointment (and I was each time very much ON TIME) she would keep me waiting for at least 25 if not 30 minutes and I just got cross & so lost the will. To both listen to her & also use the hideously uncomfortable and expensive (think a pair of Emma Hope loafers ...) orthotic things I got given. So I have been half heartedly stuffing them into boots & walking for 45 mins & coming home in crippled agony as my hip was being pushed out of joint. Not surprisingly I have pretty much given up with them. But I really need to get out and move a lot more – and as I don’t want to either bugger my back OR break my foot again, I need a workable solution. So today I went to our local running shop “Run to Live” (big plug) and told my sorry story to an incredibly kind, patient & intelligent woman who helped me big time. She did all the things – and more - the gait person had charged me over £200 for, for FREE. And also gave me some brilliant common sense advice. She watched me walk with shoes, without shoes. With trainers on their own (amazingly comfortable) and with trainers with orthotic things in. Amazingly uncomfortable but her view was they did make me walk better. Hey ho. And she sat me down & told me – you are NOT as fit as you were 3 years ago. You have to go down 300 notches and start small & slow!! Like just walk to the post-box in your new trainers with hideous things in, i.e. walk for 5 mins. But do it every day till it feels OK. Then increase and ... yeah yeah I know. Fitness for dummies - hurrah!

Ooh baby baby!

Well well. What a year this is proving to be already. If I was a knitter I would be busy unravelling balls of lemon & cream wool as I have just had news reach me of a SIXTH (yes – 6!) brand new person planning to make an entrance in 2011, the year of the Yin Metal Rabbit, and to turn my friends (their new parents!) lives upside down! However as I am not really a knitter, but have recently taken delivery of a brand new, self threading (oh yes no more poking about like Mr Magoo), 22 stitch embroidery capable sewing machine, I will be scouring the shops for cashmere blankets to customise! If I’ve got my times / dates right, the first baby to arrive will be the Vegas baby so that blankie will obviously need a sequinned showgirl / Elvis theme; the next (I think) will be born to a very successful, strong & fashionable woman so maybe Jimmy Choos? Or a Birkin Bag? The other four are right now somewhat less defined but I’m sure I will be able to find a theme. The only annoying thing about all this joyful news however is that hubby is getting all soppy – no, no god forbid he doesn’t want a baby, he wants a puppy ... specifically an American Beagle ... Woof what? says the KC ...

Welcome to 2011!

Hope this is the year dreams come true for everyone. The great debate in our house over the holidays has been is this merely a New Year or a whole brand new decade? I thought 2010 heralded the new decade but contrary views abound. Anyway whatever we want to call it, it’s new & shiny & holds vast potential. The plans we have for the wreck - sorry house - are really coming together (but why is it that every time we fix one thing, another thing breaks? Fix windows, get water dripping through light socket that kind of thing) and I have checked my yearly horoscope and all is good apparently - even my Chinese prediction is positive. As a Wood Dragon I will fare well in the year of the Metal Rabbit (which doesn't begin until 3rd February) as long as I take care around knives & cars (thank goodness I discovered that as normally I would practice knife throwing whilst driving at 90mph; maybe this year I won't...) Naturally I have my ongoing resolution of “eat less, move more” (kind of A-level obvious) but a conversation with my best friend gave me further food for thought. She said she had decided to ditch the resolution this year & instead had identified 3 key 'watchwords' for her life in 2011. The words are ‘Cherish, Create & Explore’ which I thought was a wonderful idea & naturally I began pondering what mine would be. So after exhausting chats with the KC as she stalked Robins from the comfort of an inside window ledge (hey it’s cold!) here they are – ‘Nurture, Challenge & Trust’. Nurturing myself, those around me plus my house & my garden on every level; challenging myself intellectually & physically (just to be clear, not combative challenging of others!) and trusting the process more, letting go a little (control freak? Moi?!) trusting others & trusting life to unfold as it should. What would yours be?

Merry Christmas ...

.. And a happy New Year. Wishing all the best to you & yours over the festive period & a happy, healthy peaceful & prosperous 2011. Oh and a wish that in 2011 we find a way to deal with all this snow! Snowed in for 2nd time in 3 weeks .....
PS cute kitten a stock photo – as to be expected, the KC refused point blank to dress up! Bah Humbug

How do we know when we're old?

I have a very glamorous, very gorgeous & in my eyes eternally youthful friend who splits her time between LA & London. She is a proper artist (as in exists on the proceeds from her art) hangs out with the likes of Oprah (yes THE Oprah) gets invited to all the cool parties & yet who mailed me today with the attached photo (from her LA "office" - yeah I could hate her too if only she wasn't so lovely!) claiming it proved she was now old. How did it prove she was old? She was wearing purple – and a hat! For the uninitiated I now have to reproduce Jenny Joseph’s genius poem in full.

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

I have just glanced down at my keep warm gear today – which comprises pale purple t-shirt, purple cardi & multi coloured purple scarf. And if I am honest I have grown quite fat in my domestic bliss ... my father actually gave me a stack of Weight Watchers recipe cards recently. Discreet huh? And I spend most of my income on good red wine – that's quite close to pension & brandy n'est ce pas? Maybe I just hadn’t noticed I was old ...

Winter Wonderland?

Oh dear, any Canadians or Northern Scandawegian types reading this will be howling with laughter by the end. It has snowed in Blighty, actually quite heavily – it dumped best part of a foot on us - and so all of life as we know it has stopped. Airports are shut, cars can’t go anywhere as there are no snow ploughs & the grit stops working if it goes below -5, the trains can’t run as the points are frozen and so we are stuck! For me it’s no big as I commute from upstairs to downstairs but for others it has been a horror. Have had the joy of the hubby at home since Wednesday which has been wonderful, but the fact he can’t travel 17 miles is shocking! And the KC really not sure what to make of it all (the super eagle eyed will spot her staring straight at a Robin if you look closely at the photo) She has had a couple of go’s outside but is really not sure; she slipped badly at about 6am yesterday as she tried to jump over the snow to get back inside & missed the catflap, instead crashing headfirst into the doorframe which meant she went haring back into the deep (up to her shoulders!) snow & hid under the Leylandi meowing (complaining!) loudly. Hubby had to don wellies & get a torch & get on his hands & knees to persuade her it was safe to come back in before she woke the whole street with her unbelievable wailing! We have had a moment of amazement though. Knowing the weather would be iffy (not apocalyptic as it turned out to be) I went online & ordered a heap of groceries from Ocado. And I have to take my hat off to their delivery boys – no-one was going anywhere Weds night, hubby just about got home in 1 piece, trudging through the snow for 30 mins from the station as I really couldn’t get the 4x4 full on winter equipped Volvo out as the road had iced into a skating rink, yet the legendary Ocado boys Aaron & James who had started at 6am that day then got stuck in a snowdrift for 4 hours persevered with their deliveries for 18 hours & ended up walking our groceries to us through the knee deep snow at 9pm that night!!! Way beyond the call of duty! We did at least make them a cuppa as we were their last delivery. The Dunkirk spirit lives.I have sent notes to their bosses & even mailed Chris Evans for an on air thank you. Again – thank you boys, we have red wine & the KC has her Felix!!