Ssssteam Heat!

Ah I am indeed truly embracing my inner fauxhousewife. I have gone gadget mad & filled my FauxSurreyHome with the power of steam.

Firstly, due to major limsecale (if it was any harder our water would come out as chalk), the old steam mop furred up and died and then my trusty steam iron started to just be - well - not quite as good as it used to be no doubt also because of limescale despite always filling with once boiled water and always cleaning / descaling it. Ironing FauxSurreyHubby's shirts had become a real pain in the whatsit & a major chore. And no-one likes a chore.

So flopped on the sofa whilst trying to recover from THE COLD I was bored rigid & flicked to the shopping channels - and landed on Thane Direct. After suffering dreadfully dubbed American ads for The Slim'n'Lift Aire Bra and the WonderStep door mat, on came an ad for the X5 Steam Mop... and I was transfixed! Not only (promised the man) would this amazing mop steam clean the floors brilliantly - cleaning AND sanitising AND do carpets - I could use it to clean windows, steam clean the hob & oven, wet dust all the furniture & the wood blinds, and get rid of limescale with a power blast of steam from the specially designed blast nozzle. I was convinced. Chi-ching. One X5 wonder mop purchased.

Mop duly arrived and I wondered if I could use for FauxSurreyHubbys shirts as it also had a built in garment steamer ... (yes it's a marvel) but no - I really couldn't get to grips with that bit ... but our ensuite has never been so clean, the wooden blinds are spotless, the kitchen is sparkling and I even had a go at the windows.

But the shirts were still an issue ... so I did some online exploring and landed upon the Phillips GC8328/02 EasyCare Pressurised Steam Generator Iron..! For an amazing £140 off the RRP at Argos. Donning a disguise I popped into our local branch (me? Argos??!!) and have just finished flattening a kingsize duvet & 4 housewife pillowcases & 4 of FauxSurreyHubby's impossible cotton work shirts in 20 minutes!!

 OK OK I confess to now living in a semi sauna as I trawl the house looking for things to "sanitise" or flatten but as it's -4 outside I don't really mind!

To give is better than to receive ..

... or is it?.

Lucky girl that I am I was able to buy 3 beautiful comfy gorgeous sofas in the January sales. Hurrah! However as I bought them ahead of getting rid of the ones we have already, we now have a surfeit of sofas. What to do? Current sofas are in VGC but not really smart enough to sell for any decent amount of dosh, but also not rubbish enough to take to the tip so I put the word out to friends & charity volunteers alike & I have disposed quite quickly (for a small donation to Cats Protection natch) of 2 very lovely 3 year old leather sofas, but have been left with a tricky one - a quite old but still very serviceable 3 seat sofa bed that the KC is rather fond of excercising her claws on ... yes, you see the problem.

That said the scratched white beast is without a doubt the comfiest of all the sofas I am trying to find new homes for. Not only is it super useful in that it converts to a bed should the need arise, the cushions are feather filled & the covers are machine washable so it is the ultimate in 'easy to keep looking quite nice' furniture. So rather than send to landfill I called a few charities offering to hand over - gratis - a decent piece of furniture for someone in real need of such an item.

Oh. My. Goodness. I was almost made to feel bad & dreadful for wanting to give away something that was (shock) quite old, used & not in pristine condition to people who were probably currently sitting on deck chairs or even the floor. I call the first charity "and how would you describe the condition of the said piece of furniture?" (say it whilst holding your nose for full effect) My response  (cos am honest) "it's about 8 years old and has a few cat scratches on the fabric cover on the legs; the cover is fully machine washable and it's really easy to get new covers if you want". Response from 1st charity? "so it's damaged, that's no good, we don't want it" 2nd Charity - same question & same answer from me but this time there is a grudging maybe ".... hmmm. Does it have a fire certificate?". Me "I think so" Response "well it sounds OK but we will not take it without a fire certificate so please find it, then ring me back" Me "... erm .... OK ..."

I am however happy to report that said slightly cat scratched but v big, comfy sofa is now going to a lovely friend of mine & the KC's who is actually quite happy to give it a new home & probably continue using it as a scratching post for her 5 kitties! Hurrah!

However the bizarre charity shop discussions reminded of another time I tried to do some good - I had 2 rather expensive M&S sofas with fire regs etc all attached that were just wrong for our then house - they were perfectly decent, 3 seater solid sofas that again were free to good homes. Both beige linen, one had been placed in front of  a south facing window & the sun had streamed in leaving a 'pale patch' on it where the colour had visibly changed. I could've sold them but thought no, do the decent thing. I called a housing charity. The charity collectors duly appeared to take away this really rather good furniture ... but hold on - "oh no madam. we can't take that. It's damaged." Me - don't be ridiculous it's not damaged, it's just a faded patch on the cushion fabric that could easily be fixed by making a new cusion cover; or chucking a throw over it. Them "oh no madam the homeless people / people in empty flats on benefits / people sitting on the floor / deckchairs don't want (for free) a £1,200 3 seat sofa that has a small easily remedied sun faded stain on it"  Seriously. Quicksmart however my lovely Polish cleaner who had been working hard as the charity men refused my donation asked if she could take them - as they were "perfect". And she had a sewing machine & wasn't afraid to use it!! 10 mins later an estate car turned up & off they went to a very good home.

If I was donating a Chippendale do you think they would request a fire cert? If I had an original Eames chair from the 60's or a a 70's G-Plan sofa, hugely desirable by collectors would they claim it was "too old" & turn their noses up? Do you know what I fear they would.